just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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