I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
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