I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize