there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize