I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize