I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
my mouth tastes like poor choices
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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