margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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