Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize