I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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