Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize