Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
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matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
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Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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