nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize