No awkward lesbian experiences without me
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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