I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I would ride that face into the sunset
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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