They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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