How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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