Can i not drive my cunt home
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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