Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
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Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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