I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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