I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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