U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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