i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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