hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
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The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
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I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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