you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
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