She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
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The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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