i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Couch. On fire.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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