Since when is my name a synonym for head?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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