Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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