You're so nebulous sometimes
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
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Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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