it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize