it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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