Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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