If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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