You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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