I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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