Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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