I like my sex mixed with concussions.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize