hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize