I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize