My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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