there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize