she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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