DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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