Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
nutella sex= disaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
And then he peed in my hair
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