Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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