I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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