i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize