the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
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You dont lie about slip and slides
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
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you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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