My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize