The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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